Only One Heart

Once, my feeling was played. It broke so badly.

My heart might healed, but a cut left a mark.

Rejection is my biggest fear.

Boys are my friends, but I've always escape from being a lover to them.

I got accepted once and got rejected once by the same man who finally said "You're just like my sister." when he was actually the first one who wrote to me saying he likes me, love me. I replied his letters more than six times with hope. It crushed when he finally replied me saying I'm just like a sister to him.

How a guy can play around with a lady's heart. Don't they know that it's fragile like a quote/note we used to see at supermarket at the glasses department, "once it broke, consider sold." A woman have only one heart. Just one..

One rejection makes me reject every each of proposal. Why?
Because I'm in fear. That feelings are freshly stay like it was yesterday.
I'm afraid to have a new person entering my life and lose them.
I'm just not ready.

Now, how am I going to leave my trust to a man? I can't.

Only able to leave this matter to God since he's the only man I believe, trust and hope.

p/s:  A message to guys,
        Don't play with a heart.

Marine and Ordinary (LDR)

Pic source: Lady in a Garden Artwork by Edmund Blair Leighton Oil Painting & Art Prints on canvas

I'll be waiting,

At the balcony full of tense,

Till you come back from hunting,

Then, I'll make it sense.

I'll be there behind those letters,

Writing, reading and humming.

What hope, you left me bitter,

Till the day I see you coming.

When you're finally here,

Don't lend me your shoulder. 

Just listen to the music of tears,

Until you realize I'm crying within the border. 

When you listen to this song,

Know that I'm someone's belong..

(ShaDe, 2015)

I want a job. (Theatre Production)

How I miss our production! I just can't believe how far I left that world. It's no fun at all right now learning all those theories. Now I realise that I have to do something that makes me satisfy. And the only thing that gives me satisfaction is THEATRE!
Anyone, hire me! I'll be the best servant you people will never had in this world!