ShaDe: White Rose Garden

I remembered the first smile you sent me, my heart said something I never heard of,
My heart beats a fluctuate rhythm.
My mind asked what was the red swans doing in my head?

You called my name, I saw flowers along the path I'm heading.
I asked the brain if this is just something that we could calculate and get the answer.
Still, IQ of 200 did not work on this matter.

I walked towards you, and I saw roses. Red and white roses.
You gave me your hand and I held it.
Suddenly, we were trapped in a garden full of beautiful roses.
But being a woman, I only saw the beauty but not the thorns.
This heart was not aware that the garden it went to was not sweet all along.

The roses that I saw was not red at all. They're white. White bleeding roses.
That was when I saw the thorns.
I tried to touch them but I got flicked at the end of my pointy fingers.
I tried to hide my feelings, honestly I was scared.
You said it was alright and I believed.

365 days had passed, the bloody roses started to fade away showing the pure white flower.
We both know it wasn't enough for us to learn about each other yet.
So we decided to stay in the garden.
We both started to love each other so deep.
Too deep, I moved on from a thorn to another thorn.
From a scar to another scars.
Nothing matter but you.

Another year went on, kissing was our language.
We believed this world was our everything.
Bees came harvested our sweet stories.
Lovebird only knows happiness and beautiful touches.
Although the blood wasn't there, the thorns were still not leaving.
We made mistakes, hurting and forgave each other.
Yes, there once was forgiveness in our series.

Third year came around, white roses turned red. Again. This time, it came with flame.
We did not know how it happened so we blind ourselves with lies.
The whole garden was on fire but you said it was alright.
We stand on our feet watching each other in the blazing day, in a blazing way.
We tried to save each other but the surrounding was too hard to deal with.

After a while, we look around.
The fire vanished but the smokes was still there poking into our eyes and noses.
We were standing in the garden full of dead roses.
We knelt, silence and tears came between us.
We asked ourselves how did it happened?
The answer knocked with a 'too-late' news.

There was a time when we need each other but chose to ignore.
There was a time where the shoulders was filled with burden but chose to seal it.
There was a time where you and I disappoint each other but chose to let ego in.
There was a time when we realized the broken feelings could be fixed, but we let it grew.
And there was a time where we realized, we almost had everything but chose to turn away.

Behind every kiss, behind every touch, behind every 'I love you',
Was actually expressed by lust yet we believed it was love.
Since the love that we built was so bland,
It will forever rest as a memory in my very personal heart.

P/s: I still love you.

copyright Sharmira Delilah Anak Budit