Breathe, Breathe

 

Breathe, breathe,

Behold up to the sky and see the birds swaying in the air,

 Catch the sight of the dead leaves; descended obeying the gravity.

Listen to the wind collided on each other and bump unto your lifeless body,

See the flowers blossom with colours and happiness.

Feel the sun cuddled your skin with its warm embrace,

Close your eyes and see the beauty in your mind.

 

Breathe, breathe,

Set your foot onto the ground and move a step ahead,

Renounce the bitter past that squeezed your existence since 2008.

Conceal the twelve years of the ghastly chapter with a new canvas.

Grab the brush and dance with the colours of your choice.

Hang it on the barricade and be the evidence of your lifted spirit.

Let go of the emptiness and start breaking the wall of obscurity.

 

Breathe the air of contentment, smell the scent of delight,

Feel the light of ecstasy and taste the words of joy.

Grieve no more. Endure no more.

It is your number. It is time to perform and sparkle.

Tell your soul that everything will be all right.

It will be all right.

By Sam Delilah

©shadeylight.blogspot.com

ShaDe: I Am Number Four

I grew up without a person to talk to.

My secrets stay with me. 

There's no one to turn to when my mind was filled with so much painful thought.

Everyday, I walk with stronger feet. 

Hoping that all burden will be washed away. 

And my mind would be free from those lousy screaming.

There's always a time when I feel the need to have a confidante.

To speak all the words that has been trapped under this throat. 

A shoulder to cry on, 

Hands to wipe every drop of my tears,

An advice that makes me smile, 

And be happy for a while. 

I've been looking for a way to stop feeling sorry for myself. 

But I end up crying in my sleep.

So I took a simple leap,

Running and jumping on my hip.

Avoiding all those flips.

I'm still here, alive.

Standing and making decisions on my own,

Escaping from all the lighted path that I need.

Jealous, is a word I could hear from my tongue.

I am jealous of the hugs they gave to the dogs and puppies 

While my heart is full of cuts.

I am jealous of the chokers they put on the kitties necks 

While I'm wearing all these invisible bruises.

These running blood means nothing.

And being a number four is so tiring.

©shadelight.blogspot.com (2020)

ShaDe: Unfavorable Weekend

Friday night got me an unending illusion,

You and me drinking wine on the bed of roses. 

Saturday is when the flowers aren't blooming,

Without you the cups are empty and the plates are tidy. 

On Sunday, it's a lonely sign and a gloomy bow.

I talked to God. 

Why does this hurt me so much?

And the weekend goes over and over again

Without me moving on.

©shadeylight.blogspot.com

If Only Laptop Has High Quality Camera

Hello lovely humans. Welcome to my blog. Thanks for coming by. Today, I had just witness  the most poor camera in this era. I tested my laptop's camera to see if it is still relevant in this era of technology. I had been looking for a laptop with good camera in stores, but I can't find one. I even googled them. Zero. 

So today, I would like to share about this thing because I feel like it is a need in today's era. For your information, I am using ASUS X452CP. My laptop is now six years old, old enough to be registered at preschool (if it is human).

Before any further, let me talk about this camera right now. I can see that it is a very low quality camera. I can say the resolution is very poor since I can't even see my pores (good for me but still bad for the presentation). A good camera shows my pores perfectly. Come on, pores need some spotlight too. I can see that the video produced is really dark. Very different compare to our smartphone. Luckily my nostrils are still win even in this low resolution.

Here I would like to share the advantages if we have a high quality camera on our laptop:

1.  With good camera on PC, we don't need to transfer video from our camera or smartphone. This could save us some times and workload. Because sometimes when we are transferring 4k videos, it would take so much time and we have to wait until it is done before start editing. Hello, I shoot videos for quite a long time, now I have to wait to edit it? I hate it.
2. Next is when we record ourselves, we would like to see our reflection to make sure we have the right angle, perfect flawless makeup and make sure everything is at the right place. Imagine reviewing products using laptop's camera. Just wow!
3. Move on to number 3, with on screen recording where we can position ourselves correctly, it will be easier for us to imagine where to put texts or stickers or maybe gif on the screen because we have the exact size of our video on the PC. Ain't it great. 
4. Next, instead of looking at our piece of notes, we can refer to our main points on  screen easily. This could be one of the benefit for the person who need a quick video presentation without practicing too much on the point. Plus, the presentation will be much more smoother. Been there, done that. I was a student, now I'm a teacher but I am still struggling with the same s***.

So, to the developer out there, instead of focusing too much on smartphone's camera, why don't you start focusing on PC's camera? I think it will be worth it and I would like to have one. In my experience, students need to choose between a PC and smartphone because we don't have so much money to have both at one. For me, if PC have good quality camera, I will choose it since we make a lot of videos.

That's all the points that I can think of. If you are agree with me, give me a thumbs up and subscribe to my blog. If you have any comment or suggestions about this topic, do comment below coz I would like to know more about it.

That's all from me today. See you in the next writing. 

ShaDe: I Miss You

I miss the face I used to find in the middle of the crowd,

Video calls for two hours every night.
The sleepy face beyond the screen that I can barely touched.

I long for the fingers, smoothly running through my face,

The touched that killed my fears,
The one that held my hand so grip as a promise to never let it go.

How can I forget, the voice that caused my butterfly,
The sweet, mad and silence melody it ever played,
Sounded like a music for every background songs in our story.

How can I miss,

The eyes that stared me with shine.

Scanning my soul between the trees,
Saw the beautiful side of me when I'm at my grimmiest.

We breathed the same air, we walked the same earth.
But with you by my side, everything felt like a paradise.

I wish I could write this letter with 'is' and 'are', 'do' and 'have' or  'you and I'.
But every sentence keep coming with 'was' and 'were', 'did' and 'had',
Just without 'you and I'.

The only present tense that came between us now is 'I miss you'.

ShaDe: White Rose Garden

I remembered the first smile you sent me, my heart said something I never heard of,
My heart beats a fluctuate rhythm.
My mind asked what was the red swans doing in my head?

You called my name, I saw flowers along the path I'm heading.
I asked the brain if this is just something that we could calculate and get the answer.
Still, IQ of 200 did not work on this matter.

I walked towards you, and I saw roses. Red and white roses.
You gave me your hand and I held it.
Suddenly, we were trapped in a garden full of beautiful roses.
But being a woman, I only saw the beauty but not the thorns.
This heart was not aware that the garden it went to was not sweet all along.

The roses that I saw was not red at all. They're white. White bleeding roses.
That was when I saw the thorns.
I tried to touch them but I got flicked at the end of my pointy fingers.
I tried to hide my feelings, honestly I was scared.
You said it was alright and I believed.

365 days had passed, the bloody roses started to fade away showing the pure white flower.
We both know it wasn't enough for us to learn about each other yet.
So we decided to stay in the garden.
We both started to love each other so deep.
Too deep, I moved on from a thorn to another thorn.
From a scar to another scars.
Nothing matter but you.

Another year went on, kissing was our language.
We believed this world was our everything.
Bees came harvested our sweet stories.
Lovebird only knows happiness and beautiful touches.
Although the blood wasn't there, the thorns were still not leaving.
We made mistakes, hurting and forgave each other.
Yes, there once was forgiveness in our series.

Third year came around, white roses turned red. Again. This time, it came with flame.
We did not know how it happened so we blind ourselves with lies.
The whole garden was on fire but you said it was alright.
We stand on our feet watching each other in the blazing day, in a blazing way.
We tried to save each other but the surrounding was too hard to deal with.

After a while, we look around.
The fire vanished but the smokes was still there poking into our eyes and noses.
We were standing in the garden full of dead roses.
We knelt, silence and tears came between us.
We asked ourselves how did it happened?
The answer knocked with a 'too-late' news.

There was a time when we need each other but chose to ignore.
There was a time where the shoulders was filled with burden but chose to seal it.
There was a time where you and I disappoint each other but chose to let ego in.
There was a time when we realized the broken feelings could be fixed, but we let it grew.
And there was a time where we realized, we almost had everything but chose to turn away.

Behind every kiss, behind every touch, behind every 'I love you',
Was actually expressed by lust yet we believed it was love.
Since the love that we built was so bland,
It will forever rest as a memory in my very personal heart.

P/s: I still love you.

copyright Sharmira Delilah Anak Budit

Comeback Señorita

It has been a while since I haven't post anything on my blog. My life has been so great. I still remember one of my post about how my future will look like in five years ahead. Four things lingered in my mind which is homeless, graduating or married to royal and one more thing I can't remember. Hahaha.. Married to royal is really dumb of me to ever dream on it. But things are never impossible. We saw Kate Middleton is now married to Prince William. They had three children together and their marriage is still blooming. Next, we can see Meghan Markle married Prince Harry (my love ahahhahaha). Nothing is impossible since I am not a married woman yet. 

Now back to the four things I imagined about five years ago. Now is the day I can elaborate about the progress. I graduated a year ago after five years journey at a teacher's institute. I got posted on January 2019 after unemployed for six months (being unemployed is really great and bored at the same time, which I will share about in my next post), working under the Ministry of Education as a primary school's teacher. I can say that I am having a great time with my colleague and students. For now... 

Talking about married a royal, I actually found a prince. Prince of my heart. <3 We have been in love for four years now. I know it is a great news which I should share here on my blog but I didn't since I rarely update my blog for a really long time. His name is Josh and guess what?? He's from the same neighborhood. We live watching each other grows up but never really had a chance to say hi. Then, one day on a Christmas morning, magic happens. Bam! We're couple. Hahaha.. Things were really great between us. 

He has been an amazing boyfriend to me. I believe that he is the one for me. Really, because of the way he treats me, the way he look at me is really promising. 

That's all for the comeback. I am going to write so many things about the things where I left. Love Life, Studies, Graduate, Unemployed, Interviews, and Work.  I am sure that things are going to be worth the read.